Practical family conversations around death
Dedicated to my grandmother, who introduced me to all books
TJS: I called Aunt T. [to speak with my grandmother as she passed away]
Mother: Yes, I have talked with her too. Not sure what happened but I support Aunt T in keeping her at home since she has a DNR. It is her time to go.
Aunt: Your mother is so weird! Why did she include Grandma's ex-husband in the obituary, and leave the granddaughters out?
Aunt: Today, we need to cancel Mom's Social Security, edit the obituary, and I just bought so many groceries that she'll never use. We need to go to a shelter to donate the canned food. And throw away Mom's underwear and bras.
Aunt:
It's going to cost $ 987 to publish the short obituary in the newspaper! On the one hand, if Mom knew this, she would never allow it. On the other hand, this is the last time she'll spend money, fuck it! Newspapers need money to survive, who am I to begrudge them the only money they get?
Mother: We can wait until spring to bury the ashes. For the ground to thaw. I think I heard a horrible story about that somewhere.
Aunt: I can't pick out a photo of Mom where she’s alone! And I don’t want to include one family member and not the other. I look wrinkly in this photo. Oh well, we're all wearing red hats, the two daughters are in it, and who fucking cares if our brother isn’t, he lives in the fucking Phillipines, that’s his fault.
TJS: You better have a photo selected for your obituary, etc. in the folder about your death.
Mother: Good idea. I want one young, one old.
Aunt: My father was having an affair with a much, much younger woman before the divorce. I’m not bitter! Much much much younger.
TJS: How much younger?
Aunt: Your mother's age. And then my brother got with someone his daughter's age after the last divorce!
TJS: Her age now [23] or… back then…[brain cannot calculate]?
Uncle: They say your brother is good with children!
Aunt: Mom was a powerful manifester and when she set an intention, she made it happen. She did not want to go into memory care or be hospitalized. You did it, Mom!
